Why Don’t Some Men Speak Up Against Abuse to Women?
- Feel awkward/reluctant, don’t want to say the wrong thing, phrase something incorrectly;
- Don‘t want to go against the status quo; May feel rejected by their peers;
- Feel guilty as they are the perpetrators of abuse so remain silent or self-protective;
- Some men feel it is a personal matter and they must not interfere.
What Might Help Men to Speak Up?
- We need more conversations happening in our communities around abuse.
- Everyday conversations need to become more normal and this taboo topic becomes destigmatised.
- Enhanced transparency and heightened awareness.
- Need to be educated and informed.
- Everyone has the right to live safely and not in fear of violence.
- Many Men fear backlash of speaking out, but this pales into insignificance with the daily fear that victims have both for themselves and their children.
- Men can provide practical assistance on community projects, raise the voice of women working in the domestic violence projects, and be allies in their own networks. Support survivors of abuse.
- Men can take small, active steps in their own social networks.
- Speak up if someone is making derogatory remarks, or being aggressive or abusive towards women.
- Take responsibility for your own behaviour. You have the means to control your own emotions.
3 WAYS TO TEACH A BOY HOW TO BEHAVE:
- Talk the talk and walk the walk! So don’t make sexist comments or jokes.
- Nurture his emotional empathy and literacy: Is he feeling anger, isolation, fear or shame? Teach your son how to manage triggers for his rage, and encourage him to see the value in support.
- Encourage him to call out bad behaviour: Encourage him to consider the man he would like to be and the man he might feel uneasy to be around.
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